Do you have friends that seem to be unhappy when you are doing well? Do you keep people around you that are always criticizing your appearance or your choices? Do you stay in contact with people who have happy, healthy relationships, or do their lives always seem filled with drama? Chances are, if their lives are in chaos, they will want yours to be as well.

Don’t get me wrong - everybody deserves a second chance. People change and grow, make mistakes, experience and project pain. At the end of the day, though, you want to surround yourself with people who enrich your life, not take what they want and leave you to fend for yourself.

Your true friends will remain, and I count relatives in that same group. You can’t choose the family you are born into, but you can decide who you will spend your time with and whether others are worthy of your time and love.

Are you looking for someone special to spend your life with, but can’t seem to find the time or the opportunity? Try going out by yourself to a concert, book event, or art exhibit. Believe it or not it can be very intimidating for someone to strike up a conversation with a group of your friends standing nearby. Unless of course your friends want to see you happy with someone.

However you decide to proceed in your friendships remember to remain compassionate and forgiving. I believe that often people who have hurt others are just not capable of giving the kind of love that is required to maintain healthy relationships. I also believe that if they were capable of doing better by others and even within themselves, they would do better. It is your job to lead by example, and you can’t do that if you are allowing others to treat your time, your heart and your love like something to wipe their feet on, or worse.

Chandra Adams

Shades of Retribution